Meditation Resources

The Resentment Stress Connection and How it Affects Marriage

2011-07-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

Whether it is depression, unhappiness in marriage, postpartum blues, or chronic pain, there is an often overlooked and little understood factor, called resentment, that contributes to, reinforces, and prolongs negative emotions and a host of associated symptoms. Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD has written extensively on this topic, on coping strategies and about taking positive steps to move forward. In this blog, he comments on resentment in marriage and how it exacerbates arguments and hurt feelings.

Josh and Kaitlin just had another big spat. This time the huge argument was over the toothpaste tube.

Last week they had a big argument over money. Two weeks ago the argument was over whether to have the window open or closed.

Each time she throws everything in his face. He clams up. Nothing is solved. Another layer is added to unfinished business and baggage from the past, which resurfaces the next time they argue.

To the untrained observer, it would appear that the issue was the toothpaste tube, money or the window. But to Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD, not so.

"The toothpaste tube is only the occasion for pent up hostility, suppressed angers and long standing unfinished business to burst forth."

Roland continues: "Here's the rest of the story. Josh comes home from work and sits down in front of the television. Kaitlin had been working all day and taking care of the kids. She feels unappreciated.

Josh can sense that she is angry about something, but he doesn't want to begin a conversation because he knows the dam will break and she will throw a long list of things in his face. So he avoids talking.

Josh stays home in the evening even though his friends want him to play cards with them. He is angry because she does not appreciate his sacrifice. Kaitlin complains that the repair he made in the bathroom is not working so she is going to have to call someone else to do it who knows what they are doing. Josh feels like she does not respect him.

Kaitlin wants to talk. She hopes the maybe when thy go to bed, they can talk like they used to. Josh falls asleep right away. Kaitlin feels unloved.

Kaitlin admits to her friend that she tends to throw everything at him all at once. He probably feels overwhelmed says her friend. I know, says Kaitlin, but I can't help it. I keep trying to get his attention."

And once she does, everything that she has been holding in comes out. Afterwards she feels guilty about it.

Josh tells his friends that he loves his wife, but "she is never satisfied with anything I do." "I'm always wrong."

Soon one or both of them are thinking: "I'm tired of arguing. I'm tired of not being appreciated. I'm tired of being the one who has to work on our marriage. I'm tired of always giving in for peace. We have nothing in common. The love is gone."

Here's the bottom line, says Roland. Kaitlin is resentful. And so is Josh. It is the resentment that causes the accumulation of hurt feelings and hostility. The accumulation of upset leads to either exploding in anger or suppressing and clamming up. Neither is healthy.

Resentment washes away reason. Resentment takes away the ability to be reasonable and calm. It leads to frustration and upset. These lead to discouragement, feeling tired, negative thinking, stress and physical symptoms that stress contributes to.

I can help, says Roland. By learning to let go of resentment, you stop feeding upset, frustration, bitterness, discouragement that contribute to further negative symptoms and feelings. It is also resentment that makes you feel empty, inferior, unfulfilled and unloved.

Roland's practical solutions are based in understanding. "I describe the why of what is happening. I talk about men and women, about how they are different and about how we can more easily appreciate our differences when the resentment factor is removed.

Understanding is the answer--when you become aware of what is really going on and see many good reasons for letting go of resentment, your new understanding will help you feel better and become more joyous and positive.

If your partner also develops understanding, then your relationship can become heaven on earth. If only you become more aware and mature in your understanding, you are still much better off because you will be able to deal gracefully with situations, and spare yourself the upset, frustration and emptiness you now feel.

Another thing, says Roland. Many people know they are resentful and want to give it up, but don't know how. I know how, and I show you.

Other people think that being more forgiving means giving in for peace. But I can show you that it is resentment and guilt that makes you keep quiet or give in now. I can show you how to let go of resentment, which frees you up to express yourself and speak up (without resentment).

What I teach should be common knowledge, but you can hardly get these insights anywhere else. Sure there are some good marriage and relationship programs or counseling. The seminar leaders, writer or counselor may be working with bits and pieces of the solution. But I have the whole and I put it all together. With others, you get some pieces of the jigsaw puzzle, but I can give yo the complete picture.

It is not for everyone though. Some people just want to hang onto resentment and judgment. And as long as they are unwilling to give them up, they are not ready for understanding. But when they are ready, my teachings are a God sent.

____________________

Hello, my name is Roland and I am a pastor. I've been on the radio for almost 22 years, both secular stations and Christian stations around the country.

I get a lot of questions about relationships and marriage--probably most of the questions I get. A couple of years ago I wrote a book about marriage. It was excellent, but I wanted to take it to the next level.

I think that The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage really does fulfill my expectations. I wanted a book that is about marriage, and even though I am conservative and traditional, I wanted the book to be inclusive. And it is.

People who are in long term or short term relationships will enjoy and benefit from my book. I talk about some of the deep aspects of marriage, and I can explain why so many relationships have issues.

I also wanted at talk about dating and courtship (there is a difference), and why I favor courtship.

I wanted a book for ladies who are working on their relationship. But I also wanted it to be a book that men, especially thoughtful men who want to be good husbands and fathers, will feel comfortable with.

I wanted a book that is serious--a serious book about a serious and important topic. But I also wanted it to be fun--a good read--and even funny in parts.

Finally I wanted to write a book that can be read again and again. Each time getting some new insight. Or a book that a young man or lady who is just married, and issues develop, can reach for and turn to the chapter on the issue, and get some insights and solutions.

I believe that this is the book.

Your friend, Pastor Roland

Product Description

Why do couples argue? How can we put the sparkle back in our marriage? How can we communicate better? I’m a Christian but my boyfriend is not. What is the difference between courtship and casual dating? My wife asked me to leave. Why are men the way we are? What does my wife want? Can we reconcile? How about sex? My wife cheated on me –now what? Based on over 20 years of counseling couples and answering questions on the radio, this is the courtship, marriage and relationship repair handbook you have been waiting for. Roland tackles the tough questions with humor, discernment, and refreshing honesty. From the Garden of Eden to the 21st century, he’s got relationships covered.

About the Author

Roland Trujillo, lecturer, marriage coach, author, radio host, husband and dad, introduces his new comprehensive look at the delights, the challenges and the mysteries of marriage. For over 20 years, Roland has been helping couples repair their relationships and move forward to optimal living. Roland is now bringing his insights, based in compassion and spiritual principles, to a new level in this unique look at the perils, pitfalls, and promises of relationships.
Product Details

Paperback: 318 pages
ISBN-10: 1463663706
ISBN-13: 978-1463663704Here it is. The book you have been waiting for.

Written by Pastor Roland and based on 20 years of counseling and coaching couples

Here are just some of the topics discussed

The Dating and Mating Game Is Not a Game
“A Rose by Any Other Name is Still a Rose”
Why I Decided to Become a Pastor
Where to Find Real Solutions to your Relationship Woes
Why Couples Argue
Myths of Marriage
Sex in Marriage – The Shocking Truth
How to Forgive and Forget
How to Apologize and Clear the Air with Dignity
Just How Important is Dad?
Marriage Counseling for Men
Can I Reconcile with My Husband, Wife, or Child?
Is Food Your Secret Lover and Enabler?
Dealing with Hard Times
Adam & Eve: The First Dysfunctional Family
My Husband is Annoying
My Wife Asked Me to Move Out –What Should I
Do?
Advice to Divorced Moms
My Wife Cheated on Me – Now What?
Finding the Best Marriage Advice – Trust Your
God Given Instincts
10
The Strong Family—Ten Lessons in Faithfulness

Purchase at Amazon.com in quality paperback for $14.95

Preview at Scribd and purchase to download to your computer or mobile device for $9.95. Save 33% off paperback

Got a budget? Want to help Pastor Roland? For a donation of $5.00 we will send you this 315 page book in pdf. as a token of our appreciation. Click here to look inside or donate to help Roland

Save 66% from paperback price

How To Meditate For Christians

2009-04-03T18:38:00.000-07:00

Now you can read some of Roland's best articles about meditation, finding peace of mind, dealing with anxiety, overcoming PTSD and finding the wisdom to deal properly with our family and workmates. Life has a spiritual dimension and few can talk about in a meaningful way like Roland.
Find out more about his new book.

Get more information on our free meditation

Listen to Roland's Sunday morning inspiration radio program

How Do I Meditate To Find Real Answers

2009-04-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Most people become interested in meditation because they are stressed out or unhappy. They want relief, escape, or instant relief so they can feel better. This is understandable. When we are uncomfortable we seek relief.

All I would like to make the reader aware of in this article is the fact that relief is not always a good thing. I'm sure you have heard of certain people who lack the ability to feel pain. Such a person could literally have their hand on a hot stove and not realize it. The person feels no pain, while their hand is being burned.

Likewise, any practice that covers up the real cause by eliminating symptoms can cause us to continue to be harmed without realizing it. In physical terms, this is called symptom removal. In emotional terms, it is called reassurance. In spiritual terms it is called deception.

It is like this: suppose a lady is unhappy because she resents her parents. Her unhappiness leads to feeling bad. To relieve her symptoms she goes out with friends and parties, drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. She temporarily feels better, but the under lying cause of her unhappiness is still there. The underlying cause is the resentment (hatred) toward her parents.

She might try taking pills or she might try reading spiritual books or singing nice music. She might try yoga to find peace of mind. But the marijuana, the drugs, the partying, the spiritual music, or the yoga are all attempts to get symptom relief.

To the extent that any of them succeed, they only keep the real cause buried. Again, in this situation the cause is resentment. The resentment, being a form of hatred, causes her to be separated from love. Being separated from her own ground of good and the love therein, she feels empty. Separated from love, she also has no love for herself, other than the compensations of comforting herself with food, drugs, or other substitutes for real love.

article continues below

___________________

announcement

Roland's beautiful new book designed to accompany our meditation

is now available.

_______________

Now suppose that instead she woke up one day and realized that she was hating her parents. Seeing her own wrong, her discomfort would increase. But suppose she also saw that she had been judging her parents. She realized that her hatred of them was wrong, especially because her parents too were lost. They were doing the best they could; and they too had been hurt when they were kids. No one loved them.

Deeply realizing all of this leads to a change of heart. No longer judging and blaming them, she drops the resentment. She feels bad for her own sneaky hate, experiences remorse, and she becomes a friend of conscience.

Now, a friend of conscience and a friend of God, no longer resenting her parents: a great weight is lifted from her mind. Joy returns. She is free to go on with her life and leave the past behind. Suddenly she has no more need for drugs, marijuana, yoga, music or anything else to distract her. She is a friend of conscience, at peace with God and at peace with herself. She is no longer full of hate.

Now the above example of hating parents is just one of a myriad of examples I could give. You will have to fit the principle to your own life to see what it is that you are running from.

Resentment is at the root of many of our discomforts, maladies, addictions, and unhappiness. We resent our parents, our work, ourselves, God, our husband, our kids, and so on. When we are resentful, we feel ill at ease. No one can feel right about themselves when they are secretly resentful, secretly hostile, or openly hostile.

Even if you resent a phone call or a bill, the act of resentment separates you from the calm, dispassionate state of mind. The resentful person feels uneasy, nervous, tense, unhappy, or angry.

So the reader will ask: why not just let go of the resentment? First of all because many of us are unaware that we are resentful. We excuse our attitude and we keep busy. Many of us serve others, do charity, or work our fingers to the bone--all the cover up and compensate for the guilt of secretly resenting others. But we are so busy that we don't even notice the twinge of resentment when we are called on to do something for another.

We actually use the resentment as an energy to fuel our compensations. We study and get degrees, engage in spiritual rituals, work hard, or exercise hard all to compensate for our loss of love. All we do is build our ego and conflict with God.

The other reason why people don't give up resentment is because they feel they have the right to resent others. Besides, they sense that giving up resentment (and hostility) would take away their motivation for functioning. Everything they do is resentment based. Without, it, they would have no motivation to move.

Finally, most people are unwilling to give up pride. Resentment and judgment support pride. And pride is the compensation for our loss of love. Most people just don't want to give up the hope of making it big, winning the lottery, being recognized as great or good, or getting our revenge on another.

So you see--what we need is awareness and insight. We need to become aware of our wrong, our faulty attitude, and the mistake of hating others. We need to see the big picture.

All that remains to be seen is if, when seeing the bigger truth, we are willing to have a change of heart and give up our resentments of others. If we are, we become free. If not, we must go on, living a life based on hate, and we will be forced to keep finding ways of not being aware, not facing the truth, not seeing our wrong.

Now that you understand that most people are trying to avoid the truth (that they are wrong), you can see why they look for activities and techniques that lower awareness.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against jogging, exercising, going for a walk out in nature, or spending some quiet time reading. Taking a break from our busy lives to enjoy nature or get some exercise is a positive thing. All I'm saying is that a little R & R is nice, but it is not the answer. The real answer is to re-find the objective viewpoint by becoming still and experiencing conscience.

In the light of truth we will see our errors, and we will be able to effortlessly change course. More importantly we will wordlessly realize that God exists and that He is much smarter than we are. We will see, in His kind light of truth, that we have been guilty of playing God. When we stop doing so, the door is opened for God to enter our life and change us for the better.

People talk about consciousness raising or having a higher consciousness. But believe me, most of the time they have found a way to believe in their own goodness. They have found a way to feel good about themselves and to be oblivious to their wrong.

If anything, such persons (who claim to have found a higher consciousness) are more prideful and more unaware of the humbling truth about themselves. Their peace of mind is a false one--based on smug contentment and obliviousness to reality.

They have found peace apart from God.

In this sorry state, their ego might expand to feel one with the universe. They might even think they are God. But this only because they are separate from the awareness that would remind them that they are not God.

Symptom removal is to remove the evidence of wrong. And when we can't remove the evidence of wrong, then we want awareness removal, so that we can have the symptom and also be unaware of anything wrong with our attitude or lifestyle.

That is why we are quick to believe when someone calls alcoholism a "disease." That way we can have our attitude and character issues neatly excused. We are glad to have something diagnosed. We can even accept a lesser truth such as that we were selfish or out of control, and still neatly avoid the bigger truth, that our pride is built on hate and indwelling evil.

That way we can put a label on our issue and stop our search for what we might have done to get ourselves unhealthy in the first place.

Most people don't mind raw knowledge because it is nonthreatening. We want to have knowledge about our disease, knowledge about our condition, and knowledge about our discomfort. By intellectually knowing, we can avoid experiencing the higher realization of why we have fallen so low. Even religious knowledge is not threatening if it does not lead to awakening.

Perhaps now you can see that there are two types of meditators. The insincere (common) and the sincere. The latter is the (rare) type who really and truly yearns for truth, even if it is humbling and brings pain. Such a person can benefit from the meditation we teach here at the Center For Common Sense Counseling, which assists the sincere seeker in becoming more aware.

Remember, the sincere person is willing to know the truth, even if it is uncomfortable at first.

But most meditations are just more sophisticated versions of whatever will lower awareness. Instead of escaping awareness through smoking marijuana, partying, or drinking, the insincere meditator finds a way to have peace apart from conscience and peace apart from God through the false meditation.

Unfortunately, other centering exercises, support groups, bio feedback techniques and so on, (though helpful in stopping negative behavior, and though having some good real insights) do not address the ultimate issue: separation from God.

Some techniques, frankly, have too much of the hand of man in them. They are not from God and leading to God.

How can anything be truly beneficial if it leaves God out? And if you are sincere and perceptive, you will also see that any practice that talks about all paths being equal and all leading to God are tempting us to embrace a seductive appeal that loves us just the way we are (wrong).

It is the wrong god who accepts you just as you are and who "saves" you from the real God.

And anyone who claims that we can become God or that we are God is another pied piper leading the glory seeking away with a seductive idea.

Likewise any nature worship in whatever form is just the same old error of making something else into a god and worshipping it.

The same thing can be said about religion. There is a true religion and a false religion. Many people are religious in name only. They go to meetings, sing songs, chant, perform rituals, give money to charity and so on--but it is a veneer of religiosity covering up a nature that has not really changed. It's an external or cultural thing.

Therefore, these types have given religion a bad name. When a minister does a bad thing, or when so called religious people are hypocrites, it causes others to reject religion. Those who are hypocrites are not really true Christians. If you have rejected what such a person had to say, you weren't really rejecting Christ or true Christianity. Any guilt you feel (which makes you feel condemned) is most likely for having resented the false one. Simply drop your resentment and you will be free to see what is true.

Another variation of this is that many of us were pressured to accept God, Christ or some teaching. The wicked pressure monger, who pressures you with something that is factually true, can have the horrible effect of causing you to reject the truth through your resentment.

Many of us who are perceptive ended up rejecting the truth because we resented the pressure monger. Some of us, on the other hand, resented, and the guilt for resenting made us feel inferior and may even have made us give in to their sort of pressure for guilt relief. But no truly good person would ever pressure you to do anything, least of all religion.

Similarly, many people can't read or do math for the reason that they were pressured as kids. They resented, rebelled, and developing learning blocks.

Realize this: your guilt (and all the various resulting negative symptoms) is for resenting the pressure. Simply let go of the resentment against them, against yourself, against everything, and you will be free. (It will be easier to let go when you realize that the person who pressured you was doing to you what was done to them). .Then meditate for objectivity.

There is also the type of person, who I can help, who is a Christian, but not Christian enough! In other words, a good person can get caught up in studies and external things, and not know how to experience the real thing. All that person needs is a little guidance about how to become still by separating from thought and observing thought. In this still aware state, we are able to realize, intuit, and make contact with understanding.

External study and rituals tend to interfere with internal realization and inner delicate promptings. When such a person discovers the proper meditation, they are relieved to know that they are not bad for having doubted or been confused by things they were told. When they become still and begin to see for themselves, they are glad to discover and intimately know the truth, without external interference.

The true meditation is from God, given to us through inspiration, to help the sincere seeker to find Him. But a false meditation or any other false practice is designed to cater to egos--giving people what they want--which is peace apart from God, so they can continue in their lifestyle without guilt or pain. You can't blame the drug dealer, the bartender, the lying lover, the pharmaceutical company, or the false religious leader. They are giving us what we want: to feel good about ourselves. In exchange, they get power.

Most practices are hypnotic, leading us into an emotional rapport with some external direction. Our awareness is lowered: we believe, we follow, and we receive reassurances.

The true meditation is anti-hypnotic. It teaches us how to come up out of the imagination, to face reality, realize the truth and ultimately find the God of conscience.

The true meditation leads to God by way of repentance. The false meditation leads away from God and sustains us in pride.

In most meditations, we are encouraged to fantasize, to imagine, to let go and float away with our dreams. But just remember that we are escaping from reality, and from the God of reality.

Some meditations have the person fixate on some object or on their breathing. This is an exercise in exercising will, which keeps the ego trying and focusing. Therefore it is just another version of what we do all the time: fixate, focus, try, and control. The true meditation teaches us to de-focus and defixate. It teaches us to remain anchored in the present.

Some meditations have the person try to blank the mind. But if the thinking is blanked or stifled(by humming or chanting some word, for example), then there is no awareness of what is going on, and no inquiry for true answers. Instead, there is oblivion, mindlessness, or fixation.

Only the sincere person can use the proper meditation properly. If the person is not ready to face reality or wishes to hang onto pride, or is using the proper meditation just to feel better, it won't work because of the insincere intent. Instead it will become hypnotic and just another exercise in ego preservation.

So it all boils down to whether the person wants to discover God or discover himself as god. Whether she wants to know God or know herself as god. It depends on whether we want to see our wrongs and admit them so as to live rightly, or whether we want to be the right.

It says in the Bible, "Be still and know that I am God" (and you are not god). In fact, there are so many things nowadays that pull us away from awareness that it is the author's opinion that the sincere seeker must practice our awareness meditation. We simply must learn how to be still. The energy of our own striving pulls us from stillness and involved us in thought stuff. Even the effort to still or blank thought is another involvement. The soul itself must be still, apart from thought.

When we try to focus or try to do anything, even quieten thought, we end up struggling and become fatigued. Struggle and trying are themselves an error. After tiring, it is just to easy to float away with daydreams or slip away in some comforting music, alcohol, drug or distraction fix.

We also make the mistake of trying to deal with our own guilts, which only strengthens them and makes us weary. You cannot forgive yourself. You need God's forgiveness and guidance. But you cannot find these in daydreams or external words or rituals. Nor can you find them in manipulation of thought.

You discover them when your soul is still and aware in the Presence in the present. Go to our virtual homepage to learn more about our awareness meditation and perhaps listen to it. It is free with no strings attached.

It often takes the person who deep down loves God a long time (years or decades) before they are ready to meditate in earnest. And when such a person will be ready, I cannot say. But when such persons find the truth they have been searching for their whole life, they experience great joy and relief.

Often something will try to prevent you from starting. You may have a sense that you are doing something wrong. But it is only the wrong spirit (that has been misleading you your whole life) that fears your meditating and coming to God. It fears that it will be realized out of existence.

Best to just get started and meditate. You can listen to or download a version of the meditation at our website.

The meditation is marvelously self correcting. The sincere person may begin with the right attitude and make great progress, only to get stuck. Usually it has to do with something they are not yet ready to face, or perhaps a subtle change in motivation. Therefore beware of a voice in your mind that says you are beyond this sort of thing, that you don't need to meditate anymore, etc. Fortunately, the meditation will somehow make you aware of what has happened, and once you become aware of (for example) your wrong intent, you will be able to meditate properly again.

Food: Friend or Foe?

2008-01-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

Uncovering the Mysterious Power of Food Over Us and Finding the Secret to Regeneration.

Dr. Henry Bieler, a popular doctor who practiced medicine for over 50 years and who treated many Hollywood Stars, wrote a book called Food is Your Best Medicine. Of course, he was talking about healthy food.

The other side of the coin is summed up in the words of Waldo McBurney, who still goes to work every day at age 105, who says: We dig our graves with our forks.

Food seems to be endowed with a mysterious power to make us better or worse, to upgrade or coarsen our existence. It is the vehicle by which culture stakes its claim over us. Then, by continuing to eat our cultural food, we are kept a part of that culture, and thus without even realizing it, prevent ourselves from becoming who we were really meant to be. It is for this reason that the average person lives in anxiety with a vague sense that something is wrong.
A steady diet of junk food, fast food, diet soda, and processed foods seems to be contributing to making Americans overweight, undernourished, and unhealthy in many ways.

Somehow the fast food fare is also contributing to a general coarsening of the population. We are not as polite, as well mannered, as noble as we once were. Our society is becoming impatient, selfish, in a hurry, thoughtless and rude in countless ways. Somehow what we eat and the way we eat affects our way of living.

Let us look at the food mystery and unpart the veil to the power that food has over us. If eating wrong food contributes to sickness, ill health and a downgrading of manners, perhaps eating the right food might upgrade us.

Food has a curse attached to it. It was in the Garden of Eden where the human race fell from faith and reliance on the Creator. Food was involved in the fall. When Adam ate the forbidden fruit, it sealed the deal and made death a reality. God had promised Adam that if he ate forbidden food, he would surely die.

Today, we eat to live, but even as we eat, we are living under a death sentence. We try not to think about it, and for much of our life, most of us manage to sweep it under the rug. But as the years pass, we must begin to confront its reality whether we like it or not.

Eating good food (healthy, unprocessed, natural food from the garden) is likely to help us live longer, and if not longer, at least more healthily. But even so, all it can do is prolong the inevitable. And even the best of food may not help us if we eat while upset, angry, or not in moderation.

Even the best of food only helps us live longer. It does not remove the curse. The situation appears to be an insolvable dilemma. Because we must eat to live, we cannot just stop eating. Yet, food was involved in our fall and somehow contributes to our deterioration.

The evidence of the involvement of food in our fall can be seen today, if we care to look. Food is very often involved in our own personal misjudgments and errors. Many an affair or act of promiscuity is preceded by a meal. The salesman, recruiter, or person who is wooing you knows the best time to make his pitch is after the meal he invited you to. Somehow the food weakens our resolve and opens us up to some suggestion we might have resisted before the repast.

Marijuana, alcohol, and drugs are types of food: something we ingest. The failings, the fights, the accidents, and the tragedies that involve these substances are legion. Somehow the drug, the marijuana or the alcohol separates us from awareness, from reason, from common sense, and from control. Then we say or do something we are sorry for later.

Could it be that these effects of food and food-like substances are variations of the result of eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden? It could be, and it is.
Food has a curse in it. Food has an effect on the body. And food has an effect on the consciousness. But there is more to it.

Food is fraught with suggestions. It is not the chocolate that makes a Swiss person act Swiss; or the tortilla that makes the Mexican act like a Mexican, or the meatball that makes an Italian act like an Italian. It is not the hamburger or the soda that makes a teenager act like a teenager. The food is loaded with suggestions, and when we eat the food, we unconsciously buy the suggestions. We begin to act like what the culture, through its various trappings, suggests we should act like. Then the eating of that food reinforces what we become in the process.

Similarly, it is not the baggy pants or the tattoo that makes a gang member into a gang member. It is the suggestion and what those pants and tattoos mean. And it is the rebellious actions they inspire. The manner of dress suggests a certain lifestyle and reinforces it. What we wear has an effect on us.

We act a little better when we are dressed up for church on Sunday. It is well known that kids act a little better when they have school uniforms. The clothing has a suggestion in it.
And if there is a suggestion in the food or the clothes, then there must be a suggestionist. Most of our authorities are passing on what was suggested to them. But somewhere back in time, there must have been an original suggestionist who began the worldly order based on a lie. He was there in the Garden, suggesting an alternative disobedient lifestyle, that he knew would give him power.

The ambitious, power hungry wanna bes of today tell us the lies they were told, and give us false versions of the real thing. They know, just as advertisers know, that trance inducing cultural food is one of the best ways to keep us asleep and malleable.

The rebel may not really be bad. He is acting out the lifestyle suggested to him as a way to be free. The person who eats and drinks too much is acting out a lifestyle suggested as a way of living it up and grabbing for the gusto. The weekly church goer may not really be a nice person. He is acting out a way of life suggested as a way of being good and acceptable. Even the slightest falsity is a sure sign that our behavior is being directed by the wrong spirit.

Christ often warned about hypocrisy. Many of the falsely religious did not even realize they were acting the part of a good person, and had not yet found the real thing.
Can you see the role of culture in suggesting to us a way of acting out (even religion) that is conveyed through the post hypnotic suggestions found in cultural food (or mothers cooking)? Now you will be able to read the following passage and understand what Christ meant:

...Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying: These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men. (Matthew 15:6-9 (NKJV)

Clothing has an effect on us. So does language, rituals, or music. But food is far more subtle and profound. It is intimately connected with the fall of the human race. Food is loaded with suggestions, which are reinforced daily as we eat. Just as food suggests party time, pride in ambition, pride in achievement, and freedom to do whatever we want, it also reassures and comforts us for what its suggestions have made of us. Bear in mind that cultural food also conveys pride in our religiously correct or politically correct conformity.

The rebels have their beer and marijuana. The conformists have their punch and cookies or wine and cheese. Food restores our hope in the promises of glory. And the bottom line of all comfort is a comforting (to the prideful ego) belief in the suggestion of the inevitability of deterioration, disease, and death. By believing in death's inevitability, we are relieved of seeing the truth about how our own wrong way of living is contributing to an early demise. Belief in death neatly justifies grabbing for the gusto.

Might there be a way for us to get beyond suggestions, so that we are not influenced by either positive or negative suggestions? Might it be possible to eat without buying the cultural suggestions, or eat without dying?

I believe it is possible. That is what Christ came to do. He comes between the source of the suggestions and the victim of the suggestion. By transferring our belief to Him, we are separated from the suggestions and the source of those suggestions, operating through the plastic system. The curse is undone and the suggestions neutralized. But this happens only for those who find the mystical way to discover His Presence and to believe into Him.

Eating healthily is better than eating junk food. Healthy food, eaten in humility and moderation, is less likely to cloud the mind or facilitate early death. But just eating healthy food is not the answer. Some people eat a diet of health food, but do so with pride or merely to support and prolong their fallen lifestyle. Even health food eaten pridefully only preserves a fallen way of life.

The answer is in finding a mysterious way, hidden to the prideful, that hinges on a series of correct beliefs in Truth that is revealed and unfolds in the life of the blessed sincere searcher. It is the power of the Presence of the Spirit of Truth, promised by Christ, that leads the penitent seeker to a series of discoveries and which permit the exercise of faith and the laying down of willfulness.

As we are now, in our fallen condition, we almost cannot help but eat to deny. Without a burning desire to remain aware, it is just too easy, too automatic and too comforting to slip into a mild trance by munching away. If we do become aware, we experience the ignominy and coarseness of our food ingestion.

So we dress up our food with fancy decorations, use fine dining ware, and make eating seem to be something glorious, which in essence, is a denial of its lowliness and baseness. Eating may be natural and it may be necessary, but it is not glorious. The trance is temporarily broken when you find a hair in your food or see what goes on in the restaurant kitchen. We sober up when we are ill and cannot eat for a couple of days; but soon we fall back into our old patterns.

Even if we do not dress our food up with too many spices and do not try to make too much of it, it still has a hypnotic effect on the mind. And so, no matter how pure our intent is to remain aware, after a few bites we slip away and lose awareness.
That is why we eat too much. We approach the chocolates or the potato chips with the intent to eat just one. We start off eating slowly and modestly, but as we eat, our will is weakened and we drift off into a trance. Before you know it, we have eaten half a box or half a bag.

If eating regular food has an effect on us, just imagine what an unconscious denial it is to eat junk food, smoke marijuana, or take drugs. If our unconscious desire is to deny reality and to deny the truth of our fallen, sinful, dying condition, then we will eat to deny. The more bizarre, chemical laden, mind-altering the food (or drink or drug), the greater the denial.

The truth denier will also misuse the services of the well meaning doctor by demanding that the doctor give him something to take away the symptoms. Rather than admitting a wrong ego attitude and consequent lifestyle, most people would rather blame it on the body and take a symptom removing, truth-denying pill. This is not to say that we sometimes do not need the services of the good doctors. We do. But we must not misuse their help, or try to make the doctor into a god and empower him or her to lie to us.

Should the health of such a person improve, it only permits them to continue living longer, still with an unresolved cause. The still existent pride and denial of some sort will result in the same sickness coming back or another one arising, usually worse than before. Only the person who has the complete change of heart and mind will recover permanently.

Remember the serpent and his lie: he told Adam that he would become like a god by eating the forbidden food. But the truth was that Adam would die. Today the drug taker is looking for a high (to feel like a god) with his drug, but in essence he is killing himself. When our unaware and prideful living lead to excesses and errors, we want someone to help us erase the evidence of our wrong.

The answer is not to struggle with our mortality on the one hand, nor trumpet and flaunt our fallen condition on the other. Nor is the answer to give in and wallow in decadence and embrace deterioration and death.

The answer is to have a change of heart and welcome truth. The answer is to meditate for objectivity, and become aware. God first gives us awareness on our way to salvation. He gives us the ability to see things as they are in the Light of Truth.

One by one, we are shown our sins and repented of them. We are shown the truth about our fallen nature, we are shown the deception in the plastic establishment order, and we see through the shallowness and foolishness of the so-called experts and authorities who claim to know but really do not. We see the wickedness of those who do know the truth but who cover it up and withhold it in order to keep from losing power. And we see the falsity of the worldly comfort and support that only keeps us wrong, anxious, and deteriorating.

We are also given the grace to quietly say no to our most recent and most gross forms of denial: drugs, cigarettes, excessive alcohol, excessive study, or gross overeating. Incidentally, many people have a problem with work (using it, or the money earned, as a form of denial). This is also why some people rebel from work or cannot work: having seen their parents misuse it, or having experienced the guilt for resenting work. With a change of heart, such people will be given the grace to learn to work without resenting it or misusing it.

By grace we give up the noxious toxic habits. Then our other habits are moderated. As time goes by, we find we are able to eat, work, exercise, and do otherwise proper activities with moderation.

But even with a return to innocent common sense living, we notice that though we are doing things humbly and with moderation, especially eating, and though we have been restored to natural innocence, it is still less than the perfect way of existing (which Adam and Eve knew before the fall).

After we have been repented of our sins and have learned the lessons of moderation and living by faith, we live our life in relative innocence. Years pass and we are ready to approach with grace and discover the mystery of the food sin.

The Last Supper was undoubtedly original sin undone. In the Garden of Eden, Adam ate to forget. Christ instructed us to eat in remembrance of Him. In the Garden of Eden, Adam ate in disobedience. When we eat in remembrance of Christ we are doing so in obedience to His instruction.

In the Garden of Eden, Adam ate and took in the suggestion and the lie. When we eat in remembrance of Christ we eat to live to take in the Truth.
In the Garden, the food was cursed, and the act of eating took in death. In the Last Supper, the food is blessed, and by eating with His blessing, we take in life.

Through the baptism of the Holy Spirit we are reborn into the family of God. We are given a new nature. This nature grows and is strengthened through all the trials and tribulations it must undergo. Our heavenly character develops through every exercise of forbearance, of longsuffering, of speaking up truthfully, of forgiving, of abstaining from selfish ego advantage, and quietly saying no to selfish fulfillment. Our character grows every time we snap out of ego serving imagination, and every time we overlook without judging.

The next to the last thing we will overcome is the food sin, and then death itself is overcome.

After being repented of our sins and after developing character and living our life in all Godliness and honesty, we are finally ready to overcome the food sin. Eating in remembrance of Him, we partake of His innocence, and are led to the belief that saves us from the death sentence. With the help of God, the redeemable child of God is able to do something impossible for anyone else: disbelieve the inevitability of death, despite the evidence all around us of what sin has brought upon the fallen race.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1 NKJV)

Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?"

1 Corinthians 15:51-55 (NKJV)

...and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. 1 Corinthians 11: 24-26 (NIV)

Read more about our recovery meditation . . . . .

Introduction to the Meditation Exercise

2007-11-29T15:27:00.000-08:00

The purpose of the meditation exercise is to teach you how to be objective. Up to now, you have been subjective: lost in the thought stream. In real life, you failed to meet each moment properly. Therefore, you began to hide in your daydreams where you could be king or queen of the hill, or judge, jury and executioner in daydreams of those who intimidated you in reality.

It began when you were a little child. Some person intimidated you with anger, impatience, or injustice. Or, they intimidated you with false goodness, knowledge or frightening predictions of what would happen if you did not heed them. Since you were only a little child, you could not stand up to them with poise. You lost your cool. You lost confidence and became resentful. This made you self-conscious. Ever since, you have tried to regain your cool by compensating, escaping, or daydreaming. You keep revisiting the scene to try to regain what you lost. But you have discovered that you cannot. All you can do is try to prove something, which still keeps you subject to the intimidator. Alternatively, you try to gain confidence by reliving the scene in a waking trance: doing without shame what they intimidated you to do. Nevertheless, when conscience returns, you are even more guilty and afraid to face reality.
As a little child, you could not help yourself. Now you can. You need to regain the natural courage you lost, as well as the kindly attitude you loved in people.
Injustice, cruelty, and pressure, often masquerading as phony "concern" for your well-being, made you go down paths you never would have, had you remained calmly yourself. The farther along the path you went, the harder it became for your ego to admit it had erred. Anger and other emotions then increased; first anger at those who hurt you, then anger at those who misguided you, and finally anger at yourself. Anger (and suppressed hostility) became the energy with which you moved toward the goals of proving something, demonstrating something, or getting the approval of those types who had intimidated you. Anger made you go out into the world like a bull in a china shop. Repressed anger fueled the dreams of greatness, worship, or revenge. The resentment and anger also led to sensuality: hunger for experiences to ravish the mind and body as if they were love. However, the experiences were not love, only traumas, which let in corruption and more guilt.
Unfortunately, the angrier you became (and the more empty and needy for love), the more lost in thinking you became. Lost in thinking (reliving the past and fantasizing about the future) you became completely subjective. What was in your mind became your reality. The images and illusions of imagination became your reality, and you became subject to the imagination (without the over-riding influence of reason). Whatever was in the imagination moved you: you moved toward what was seducing or egging you on or you tried to escape in fear of the morbid and negative thoughts.
All someone had to do to control you was pressure you in some way, to throw you into your thoughts. Once immersed in the thought stream, they could suggest the content of your thoughts and thus effectively control you. Since you had become subjective--with your consciousness fused to thought--whatever they put there seemed like your very own thinking.
That is why the meditation exercise is so important. It teaches you how to separate the conscious mind from the thought stream. You will then have the power to resist negative or improper thoughts. This is because you will be separated from the thought, not immersed in the thought.
You will be able to see how things really are. You will begin to be able to find your own way, no longer having to rely on others for "solutions" that never really helped.
Once you learn how to become objective to thought by practicing the meditation exercise, the wordless guidance (intuition, common sense, reason, Truth, conscience) will become a light unto your feet. It will change your whole life for the better, and it will be a subtle guide, delicately steering you away from error. When you no longer go the way of error, you will be on the right path.
Performing the little exercise every morning, noon, and evening represents a commitment to REALIZING the Truth.
Henceforth you will only follow what you REALIZE. Each moment you will do what you wordlessly know in your heart is right. The answer is not in thinking. The answer is in REALIZING. The action, if one is required, flows from the impulse to do right by what you realize. The perfect graceful action flows without hesitation out of realization.
The meditation is the first step in putting into practice what you realize is right. Beginning the day with meditation is a renewed free will choice to submit to a Higher Truth and Purpose than your own thought and will. Beginning the day with meditation means putting first what is important. The meditative state of mind then leads the way. You then face each moment armed with patience. Things become subject to you instead of the other way around.
Before, you have been reactive and emotional. People, places, and objects triggered response in you. Once emotional response (and the accompanying ideas) was triggered, you played a catch up game: trying to calm yourself down after being upset or having to justify and rationalize your over-reaction.
The reactive mind becomes imprinted with memories. There is a record of every failing (where you became excited, aroused, or resentful over some tempting challenge or promise to the ego) in the mind. Mental chatter, musical jingles, and other trivial impressions came in through your attempt to cover up and distract yourself from failing. Even trivial pursuits represent sin because they represent a propensity to flee from the truth.
Reactive to praise and criticism, we develop a hair trigger temper and we are quick to judge. In fact, without understanding, we are compulsively compelled to judge everything. These judgments are also recorded in the mind. Until one learns to be objective to them, they form a barrier to facing our loved ones and new situations with a clear perception unclouded by prejudice and preconceptions.
Without patience and understanding, we became sensitive to outside pressures. We became so reactive that our huge over-reaction (often to the slightest irritation or delay) would result in massive suppression. This suppression became the inhibition of hypnosis. Any pressure would then throw us into a dissociated state of daydreams. Wandering around in this trance state (often undetectable), we are in a state of nervous sleep. Mostly we sit lost in our thoughts, or we get lost in some concentration (such as study or work), or we are lulled into a state of relaxed attention (such as when watching TV). From time to time, something triggers an outburst of activity or emotion. But mostly the environment controls us: the thoughts, images, suggestions, and impressions that enter and program our behavior.
Occasionally we wake up enough to sense we are being controlled; and we rebel. But not knowing how to stay awake and face reality without getting upset by what we see, we quickly find another hypnotist (in the guise of some friend, lover, expert, or authority) to control us.
Much of our time is spent trying to control our inner state through the manipulation of outside stimuli. When you are incredibly sensitive to the environment, you have to spend most of your time trying to control it--to avoid upset, but to have enough stimulation to keep you in the trance.
Too much stimulation is painful; not enough stimulus-response results in a breakdown of the trance and an awakening to anxiety.
In order to recover control over oneself--a natural control not dependent on manipulation of stimuli or massive repression--three things are needed. 1) A burning desire to know the truth, regardless of the consequences 2) consistent practice of the meditation exercise 3) living what one realizes through the meditation. In other words, we must love the truth, but then extend the love into the world mostly by speaking up and practicing patience.
As you become objective, you will be less emotional; so the thought stream will be less intense. As you become less reactive, you will progressively be able to deal gracefully with bigger and bigger pressures. One day, what you used to regard as pressure will no longer be so.
The next few years will be spent snapping out of the world of illusion, pipe dreams, rehearsals, plans, schemes, and dreams. Each time you snap out, you'll have more control--effortless control--and you will respond more and more to what you wordlessly know in your heart is right and less and less to outside pressures.
Do your exercise consistently. Each time will be a struggle of sorts. The earthy self and the unconscious dream stream will keep attempting to pull your consciousness down into oblivion. Likewise, the fantastic imagination will keep tempting you to go floating along with it. However, your pure intent, coupled with diligent consistency, will permit you to keep snapping out. Used properly, the exercise will not become addictive. It is a free will choice (perhaps the very first free choice of your life) to seek the truth through awareness instead of seeking face saving through unconsciousness.
The idea is not to repress thought. The idea is to observe thought. The idea is not to abandon yourself to rosy thoughts and images or negative, morbid thoughts. The idea is to remain the objective observer.
During the meditation, the soul does not think. The soul--your inner person--is the observer. It is only when your soul has sought to escape into thought that it believes the illusion and the thoughts are your own. THE PROPER ROLE OF THE SOUL IS A CALM OBSERVER of thought. When the Authority of your soul is Conscience, then your soul is rightly guided. The proper Authority--realized by your still, humble soul--then exercises proper dominion over your rebellious, recalcitrant mind, emotions and body.
The exercise teaches you how to become still--like standing on the bank of a river, watching the river go by. You are still. The river flows by. But when you get lost in a daydream, it is like becoming fascinated with something floating downstream, and foolishly jumping into the water. Thus, you go drifting along, carried by the (dangerous) undercurrents. The habit of floating along with the dream stream results in heading towards the rapids.
While floating downstream, you cannot have the things of darkness exorcised. You cannot even realize truth from folly, or what to be concerned about and what not. Fortunately, you are not without a lifeline, which is thrown to you: something makes you aware that you were floating downstream. In the twinkling of an eye, you become separate from the stream and back on the bank of the river. You are rock solid in the present, not drifting into nostalgia or illusory dreams of the future.
Another analogy. Being objective to thought (not SUBJECT to thought) is like suddenly awakening from a nightmare. When you were lost in the nightmare, your body reacts to the mental images as if they were real. Then something wakes you up, and you become aware that it was only a dream. Learning to meditate and then maintaining the meditative state of mind throughout the day is the beginning of becoming friends with reality, closer to the warmth and understanding of the Creator, and more distant from the fallacies and seductiveness of the thought world.

Preliminary Considerations.

The Meditation Exercise is a bona fide technology for coming back to the truth. It is not a mere plaything, to be toyed with out of curiosity. Nor is it a gadget to find peace, stop smoking, lose weight, get along better with people, find nirvana, or some such thing. The motivation for its use must be pure: a yearning for goodness and a desire to discover the truth.
Indeed, bad habits giving you up may very well be the result of doing the exercise; but if getting rid of some bad habit is your sole reason for beginning, the motive is not pure enough.
If you have been led to discover the exercise, might as well just get started. No need to analyze. Thinking has always broken your timing in the past: preventing you from doing a proper thing, even to the point of paralyzing you in procrastination.
Something might try to prevent you from starting the exercise. The phone might ring, the CD player might break, or you might be assailed with weird negative thoughts, the purpose of which is to prevent you from doing the exercise. Begin the exercise and continue anyway.
Likewise, once you begin, the thoughts will seek to dissuade you from continuing, with such arguments as "you are above this sort of thing; it is not working; you' are not ready yet, etc." Calmly allow the doubts to pass, and continue to do the exercise.

Getting Started.

The proper practice of the Exercise will reverse a lifetime of escaping from the Truth. All of us have various ways of denying the truth. Some of the ways of denying the truth include making excuses, pretending we are something we are not, and lying. Amazingly, we are capable of lying to ourselves--we do this by being dishonest about our own motives.
There are reasons why we deny the truth. The first reason is we do not want to admit we are wrong. Even when we are caught red-handed, our natural impulse is to try to confuse others about what they see: if we admitted the truth, we would have to admit we are wrong. If we simply cannot deny what is there to see, we make excuses. If we are then forced to accept responsibility, we resort to blaming someone else.
Now it is a humbling thing to own up to our own failing, but if we are to get better, then we simply have to face the fact that we compulsively try to deny we are wrong with cover-up, confusion, excuses, or blame. We inherit this compulsivity as part of our fallen human nature. We want to be right and never wrong. We want to be good (like God). In fact, we want worship and admiration (like God as King) and we quickly judge others (as we try to be God as Judge).
This egocentric existence, apart from God (and trying to be God), ends up being a lonely, losing battle against other egos (also playing God). Therefore, it is imperative that you see that denying the truth about your own wrong is the same as rejecting Truth. Whether you reach for a glass of alcohol, a cigarette, or an excuse: all of these are ways of remaining in denial. But denial of what? Denial of Truth.
Now perhaps you can see why the addict is compulsive. The pathological drinker, liar, hypocrite or excuse maker are all alike, wanting to be right and never wrong. This fundamental error in attitude keeps them addicted to their favorite truth-denying mechanism (which will kill them in the end). You see, the excuse will kill a person just as surely as the drink or drugs. They all "help” deny the Truth. The Truth is what God sends to draw you from lies and error. If you insist on using excuses or drugs to deny the Truth, you will eventually die apart from God Who is the Source of Life.
Another way of finding comfort in lies (if the truth is not comforting to you, then lies will be) is by being emotional. Emotions link you (bond you) to the source of error. The truth is sobering (like a bucket of cold ice water in the face). However, the lie is warm and comforting to your egotistical self. The emotions that you wallow in are comforting to what is wrong with you.
Another way of never having to see the truth about you is to keep endlessly distracted with work, gossip, TV or whatever. If you can convince yourself and others that your work is SO important, then you never have time to become still and REALIZE the Truth. I'm not saying that work is wrong, but when misused, it will kill you just as surely as anything that keeps you from Truth and God.
The way to God is through the Truth. In order to see the truth about things, you have to REALIZE for yourself. The way to realize is to learn how to be still, so that the Light of Truth can shine through your still soul. Calmly, without emotion, without fanfare, without expectation, without analysis, and despite distraction, you come to the Truth and learn from the Truth.
It all hinges on your sincere intent to discover the truth about yourself, and to come clean, completely clean. It is through allowing your conscience to convict you, without trying to run from conscience and without resenting your conscience, that the soul takes on innocence through identifying with Truth instead of the corrupt nature that came from the world.
It should all be very simple, and it is. However, there are certain obstacles that may interfere with your getting started and progressing. Therefore, this is a good place to expose some of the obstacles.
I mention them with the hope that exposing them will help you proceed. There is a danger that mentioning them might serve as a suggestion (since we are all very suggestible prior to meditating properly), causing some people to fixate on the negative or become apprehensive. But I still think it is better to expose what can stand in your way. Even should something stand in your way, once you realize what is happening, you will get back on track through the realization. Your protection is your sincerity and the power of realization.
First of all, there are thousands upon thousands of various meditations. For the most part, you are dealing with techniques that actually lower your awareness and which facilitate being sucked down into dreams, illusions, and the carnal flesh. Rather than raise awareness, mantras, visualizations, fixation of symbols, affirmations, etc. only throw you back into thinking, dreaming, and emotions: the very things that the true seeker wants release from.
Just as dangerous are the meditations that promise oblivion. Losing yourself (as if you ceased to exist or as if you became "one with" the universe) is just another cop-out. By forgetting yourself, you do feel innocent, but it is a false innocence (not true repentance). The smoker, the drinker, and the drug taker also want to forget themselves and the awareness of guilt. You can only escape into dreams, mantras, affirmations, drugs, or oblivion so long: eventually the truth has to be faced. At which point, if the soul is not ready to repent, the high turns to a low, with a backlash of resentment and guilt when that which we used to build the ego fails to make us into the god we thought we were becoming.
Another form of concentration (which produces hypnosis) is study. Particularly dangerous is religious study. This is because study, and particularly religious study, tends to build the ego. Your intent might be good, but without knowing it, the knowledge you acquire produces a guilt you can't understand. This can lead to the unfortunate outcome of developing a block against study, religion, or even an aversion to religion because of guilt and fear of more guilt. Religion is not bad. But when we knowingly or unknowingly use it (or the study of it) to support the ego life, it can only build pride and increase conflict with God. Remember the path to God is through REALIZING THE TRUTH. Truth realized humbles and chastens. Truth realized enters secretly and wordlessly. It then becomes thinking, as the natural mind flashes upon the insights received through the down loading during proper meditation.
Therefore, do not add any other meditation techniques to the Exercise as I teach it. Do it in the sheer simplicity I have provided it. If you are sincere and you have commitment, the beautiful simplicity will become more and more evident to you.
I must also mention that it is possible to encounter some difficulty in doing the exercise because there is something about yourself that you are not ready (or willing) to see. The classic example of this is the tendency to fall asleep. Sleep, of course, is the enemy of awareness. You might simply be tired or burned out (from a lifetime of struggle). If so, take a nice nap and then do the exercise. But consistent nodding off before or during the exercise probably means you are unwilling to face something. If this occurs, try again the next day. Or set the exercise aside for a few days--then begin. If this does not help, you just might not be ready yet.
Nodding off to sleep can also occur after several weeks or months of doing the exercise properly. Proper practice results in layer after layer of excuses, misbeliefs, resentments, and negative emotions falling away. At some point as you start to get close to the very core of what is wrong with you, you might be tempted to stop meditating. Or you might unconsciously fall into an escape mechanism of nodding off. But fear not! You will then become aware that this has happened, and you will be on your way again.
Some people begin the exercise with a motive of finding some esoteric knowledge (to puff up their ego). Or they want to escape into some pleasant fantasy or oblivion (like reaching for a drink). Such people could then become addicted to the exercise (just as some become addicted to whatever else they use to escape the truth). Therefore, watch your motive.
However, beware of a voice in your mind that obviously wants you not to begin or which wants you to stop. If you are a sincere person, you are the type who is always questioning yourself. It will try to capitalize on this by trying to convince you that you are insincere, unworthy or unforgivable. Do not struggle with this type of negative thinking. Just lightly note it and proceed with your exercise. The exercise itself will help eliminate such thinking.
Finally, it is possible to think that you are objectively observing thought, while in fact, you are floating along with the thought stream. Do you remember the analogy I used? Properly observing thought is like standing on the bank of a river, watching thought flow by without being fascinated, involved, and jumping into the river. There is a critical difference between standing apart from thought and getting involved. Note how thoughts tend to pull you in. Proper practice of the meditation helps you to keep snapping out whenever you are pulled in.

Now, here are few technical points. The instructions are for you to become aware of a spot in the middle of your forehead. There is no need to strain to turn your eyes upward. Simply shift your awareness upward by observing how the inside of your forehead is like the wall of a cave. Observe the inside of your forehead with your mind's eye, as if you were looking out into space right through the center of your forehead.
Also, remember to be aware of your hand (or hands) by gently noticing them. They will become tingley or warm. If they don't become tngley or warm, it's probably because you are trying too hard. Relax.
Do not get hung up on technique. If you become upset or frustrated because your hands aren't warm, it won't help any. Relax and don't worry. Simply listen lightly to the recorded instructions. Go through the motions if need be. Or try again tomorrow.
After a lifetime of escaping into daydreams, pipe dreams, fantasy, worry, planning, scheming, rehearsals, replays, not to mention morbid, negative thinking--it will take many years of patient jousting with the pulling power of thoughts. But with each snapping out, you will be progressively freer from the drawing power of the imagination. Moreover, whole sets of erroneous thoughts will begin to fall away. Each time, you will then discover more error underneath. Take it easy, be patient, but keep at it.

What you might Expect.

You will feel slightly distant to people, places, and things. It will feel almost as though your experiences were happening to someone else. This feeling of distance is perfectly normal--it is objectivity, which you had as a little child, but lost. Since you are not used to it, it will feel strange at first; but you will soon become accustomed to it.
At times, you may feel like you had a weight on the middle of your forehead. This is normal and will go away with time. You may also feel as thought you had a tight headband around your forehead. This sensation is a positive sign (of spiritual discipline).
Restless nights mean a war is going on for your soul. However, it is a struggle you are not a part of, so you will not feel tired the next day.
You will begin to see things as they really are. Walking around or driving around, you may see a world of futility, with everyone struggling in a dog-eat-dog system with very little love or kindness. While you were living in a hypnotized state of illusion and selfishness, you had blinders on and saw only what you wanted to see. The stark contrast of seeing the way things really are is proof that you were living in a dream world. What you see may be troubling or disturbing, but fear not. For a long time you were identified with the world, plus you used others. Now you will be the observer. You will feel small and helpless. Good! This is the truth. With time you will discover beauty and sweetness all around you, but first you must travel through a no man's land. Bear the discomfort gracefully. Your phony compensations will be revealed for what they are. You will not yet have any stock of virtue. You will be reduced to an absolute zero. Good! Be a zero for a while. What a relief to drop all pretenses and just be a zero. You must become a nothing so that you can become a something of God.
For a spell (several weeks or several months), you may lack motivation. This is because in the past all of your motivation was resentment based. Now you must learn to wait patiently for true motivation: the grace to move and have your being properly.
Other people will not understand what you are going through. Some people will be threatened by your change. Some will quickly abandon you as you start to get well. This proves they were never your friends in the first place. Good-bye and good riddance! Others (your beloved family) may also be threatened since they felt quite comfortable with your old, predictable, compensated, wrong self (oh so easy to judge and manipulate). They may not believe you are truly getting better (because in the past all of your self-help programs or confessions were phony, self-serving, and manipulative).
Do not resent them. Hold fast to what you know in your heart. Be honest. No more games. No more pretense. No more lies. Apologize to them for the past. Tell them that from now on things will be different. Keep it brief. Let what you are speak for itself. Do not ask for or expect them to forgive you. Simply apologize and then go about your business.
You will be quietly excited about your insights. Be careful about sharing them with others. They probably won't understand; they might even try to pull you into an argument. This could make you resentful. Wait until you are solidly grounded. Even then, action speaks louder than words.
If you become preachy (with your ego involved), you would then be a terrible pressure source who might tempt them to reject the very truth that could save them. Don't be a pressure source. State any points simply. If you don't know what to say, then say nothing.
Appreciate the good. Don't try to be the good.
As you go about your daily activities, certain memories will be brought to your attention in a structured sequence. These are not simple impressions, but are past failures (sin) which NEED TO BE OBSERVED IN THE PRESENT LIGHT OF TRUTH. Remain in the present observing the painful memory. Resist the temptation to reach for distraction or comfort. Bear the pain of seeing the truth about your wrongdoing in the WORDLESS LIGHT OF TRUTH.
Bear the pain and shame without resentment. Let the pain and shame refine into sorrow and regret. Soon peace and warmth will flow into you. You may find tears rolling down your cheeks. This is repentance. Your soul is being repented in the Light.
Be careful not to repress or try to dull bona fide guilts and the memory of past wrong. Observe the memory in the present. Do not try to deal with it. Observe the memory in the Presence of the Light of Truth.
THE ERROR HAS TO BE SEEN. IT HAS TO COME TO LIGHT, SO THAT YOU CAN SEE THE PRECISE NATURE OF YOUR ERROR AND BE REPENTED OF IT.
Lingering impressions from the previous day, musical jingles, and various trivia are quickly dissolved in the Light. But some memories, housing past error, have to be experienced in a special way in the present. Your soul will experience pain and spiritual agony. These will become regret, sorrow, and then relief IF YOU SEEK NO OTHER REMEDY. Thus your soul will be purged and cleansed. One day, when you have been repented of all your sins, there will only be a blessed present.
The Meditation Exercise will get you started. Many of us would like to be right (honest and true) but we haven't known how to get started. Everywhere we turned, no one seemed to be completely honest. There was always some catch or hitch. Sooner or later, we discovered a dark or dishonest side to everyone. Or else they were weak and not credible. Worse yet, we discovered a dark or dishonest side to ourselves--soon we could not even trust our own motives.
What you need is the Light of Truth to pierce all of the confusion and complexity. The Light of Truth shines a laser light on things, making everything very clear and simple, so simple and clear that no decisions or analyses are needed. Just seeing, believing, and breathing a sigh of relief.
No more struggle to accept or reject ideas. The Light of Truth will filter for you.
Be a simple person. Be not boastful. Have a light touch. Be happy-go-lucky.

Meditate to Move with the Right Energy

2007-11-09T16:59:00.000-08:00

When we are rushing for a goal, we move with a different energy than when we are calm. Trouble is, that once we start reacting to outside people, places and situations, we start responding to the will operating through them.

Your mom, for example, may have had to rush around. Perhaps she was busy and had to both work and take care of home. Whatever the reason, she always seemed in a hurry, and you followed suit. In other words, you were not moving at your own pace, but at her pace. And so, in order to keep up, some sort of energy had to be exerted. Even if it was devoid of resentment or anger, it was an energy that tires. Thus you became programmed to rush too.

Today, 20 or 30 years later, you find yourself rushing hurriedly for no reason. It's the result of conditioning.In order to slow down and move with a different energy, you first have to become aware that you are rushing.

Incidentally, when we do something that is a joy to do (such as something that you really are interested in) it’s not tiring or draining. But when energy is dredged up in response to other wills or agendas, it becomes a drudgery and tiring. We may be hypnotized to move excitedly (and think it’s something we enjoy), but the energy is not the same as what is truly inwardly motivated and loved.

If you started reacting angrily, such as when you got upset or when you were criticized for being too slow, etc., you started to rush unconsciously. In other words, your angry or resentful reaction resulted in the other's will by-passing your own conscious control or censure, and directly instructing your body.

Your body started to become obedient to the pressure source. Your conscious control is also by-passed when you become resentful, because when you are resentful you are cut off from your own inner ground of motivation.

The resentful person may resist, but his body is still, without his realizing it, coming under outside direction. His body either conforms (obeys) or resists/rebels, but in either case the body is reacting to and obeying outside direction. Since none of us want to admit that we are not in control of our life, we make excuses and justify what we do when we are excited or pressured. But the truth is that our conscious will was bypassed, and we moved under outer direction.

Later in life, you will find yourself rushing in certain situations. Or most likely, you will rush, and not even realize it. Much of what we do is done without awareness.

That is why it is so important to become aware, through the proper meditation, so that you can be aware of what you are doing during the day. When you are aware, you are connected to inner intuition and self control, and your consciousness can begin to affect your body. Incidentally, if you begin to meditate properly, don't be surprised to start becoming aware of lots of reactions you didn't even know you had.
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At first you may not have much control over some of the reactions (because of the conditioning). But the mere fact that you are observing it, now with the power of awareness, is a big plus. Just continue observing--standing in quiet disagreement with what you are observing. As time goes by, the awareness will foster a natural control without your having to exert effort.

As it is now, the outside affects your body. External people and circumstances have control over your body. Most of us do not realize how little control we have: all we know is that we are easily upset, things go wrong, and we can’t understand why. We do and say things we regret later. We buy things we don’t need and take on obligations we later regret. Yet we can’t seem to stop ourselves from mistakes and upsets. In short, we are out of control.

Once you grasp the basic principle of being aware at all times, you will begin to observe your own actions, and you will be able to see that they are not really your will.

If you are rushing for no reason, or moving excitedly, it means that your body is responding to an outside event now just as it did before when it was programmed. Calm observation will give you back inner control, and soon you’ll move with a proper energy.

If you are like most people, up to now the best you could do is try to control your reaction with tension, suppression or self policing. On the surface you may have looked cool but underneath your body was reacting.

But if you can learn the simple technology of self control, you will be able to modify your reactions naturally through observation and detachment. Reason and intuition will hold sway, so that you won’t have to use painful suppression.

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If you sense that you are not living your own life, that you are somehow out of balance, pressured and never at ease, then you can be sure that you are moving with the wrong energy. If you will, find out more about our stress reducing meditation that we offer. Discover how to take control of your own life and emotions in an effortless way.

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